Sentinel Samples World’s Best Pizza

If you’ve driven through town in the past couple months, you have obviously noticed the sign ostentatiously placed above Pinocchio’s Pizza, deeming the joint as the home of the “world’s best pizza” five times over. As the leaders in modern American journalism, the Sentinel staff, with doubts about the legitimacy of this award and the credibility of the “Pizze e Pasta Italiana organization,” felt morally obliged to test Pinocchio’s food concoction, often known as “pizza.”

At 2:00 PM on Monday afternoon, the Sentinel Staff ordered two pizzas to sample. An agonizing 45 minutes later, a chariot of a Toyota Camry arrived on campus with our pizzas buckled into the passenger seat. The first pie was the award winning “margarita pizza” and the second was cheese, the control variable. After a brief photo shoot with the champion pie, the staff writers got to eating.

There were mixed reviews on the margarita. Presentation was an easy ten out of ten; however, the sauce failed to meet our high expectations. Arts Editor Ian Corbet ‘14 said that there were “tomato chunks in the sauce.” Ian is known for his dislike of tomato chunks.

An average day at the Sentinel's offices

An average day at the Sentinel’s offices

Liza Epprecht ’14, however, loved the sauce–more than her prom date Ian Corbet, but not as much as Harry Galbraith. Many staff members also enjoyed the giant blobs of mozzarella cheese strewn randomly about the pizza. “Oh boy, this cheese tastes so good. Give me more,” said Mac Zech ‘14. Everyone was also in agreement that the dough and the crust were delicious. The staff finished the pizza in 6 minutes (a new world record).

The cheese pizza did not fare as well as its more Italian counterpart. All staff members agreed that the sodium content was WAY too high. After taking a bite, Maddie Jodka ‘14, Emma O’Brien ‘14 and Julia Muller ‘14 ran out the door for water. Too much salt? Rookie mistake.

Only one writer had something good to say about the cheese pizza. “I thought it was fine,” said Robert Powis ‘14.

Flax summed up this pizza’s performance in one quote, “I had better pizza in New Milford last night. NEW MILFORD!!”

As the Sentinel’s self-proclaimed foodies, we did not feel we had enough information from the taste test alone to judge the pizza’s “World’s Best-ness.” Because of this, we worked tirelessly to grade the pizza in categories ranging from taste to ease of fold to authenticity, and made sure that the pizza had the qualities required for “World’s Best.”

REPORT CARD

Delivery guy: A+ (attacked by middle schoolers)

Cheese: B+

Crust: A

Presentation: A-

Box: B-

Originality: B

Sauce: B

Character Development: D+. It didn’t get more interesting after the first bite.

Authenticity: F

Solubility: A

Ease of Fold: A

Personality: A

GPA: 86.4% + 6 point bump

FINAL GRADE: 92.4% (Honor Roll)

Not quite the world’s best, but it’s easily top tier.

–Will Bloomer and Drew Lord, Staff Writers

Posted by on April 16, 2013. Filed under School News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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