Alex Robertson’s NBA All-Star Weekend Awards

It’s that time of the year again, everyone. The greatest sports association in America is about to commence the greatest sporting event of the year. The World Series? Nay! The Super Bowl? Come on, that already happened. It’s the NBA All-Star Weekend, silly! An outgrowth of the association’s desperate attempts to capitalize on its overwhelming star power, these three days have been a staple of each year in professional basketball, and 2013 looks to be no different. As the stars begin packing up and leaving for Houston to viciously dunk on each other, I’ve been collecting my mid-year thoughts on basketball and basketball-ers, and what better way to present those than through a bunch of awards I just made up? Without further ado, here are the First Annual Alex Robertson NBA All-Star Weekend Awards.

The Kobe Bryant All-Star MVP Award: Kevin Durant. The three-time NBA scoring champion has not slowed down his pace this year (28.9 PPG) and nabbed the award last year–he’s on the rise both in stardom and in skill. Barring a complete meltdown (not likely) or a monster triple-double effort from LeBron James (…more likely), Durant seems poised to be the star of the All-Star Game once again.

The J.R. Smith Award for Standout All-Star Bench Player: James Harden. He’s up against tough fellow-benchers like newbie Kyrie Irving and veteran Tim Duncan, but in his first year off the bench he’s been playing extraordinarily, attempting a ludicrous 10 free throws per game and only just trailing LeBron James in points per game.

Three-Point Shootout participant and greatest Knick of all time Steve Novak

The Vince Carter Award for Nasty Dunks: Gerald Green. Gerald Green is a no-nonsense dunker and I sincerely hope he wins the Sprite Slam Dunk Contest, signaling the end of the Blake Griffin/Dwight Howard era of gimmicky, commercialized dunks. (Gerald, do me a favor: don’t dunk over a Kia Optima.)

The Steve Novak Award for Killer Three-Point Shooting: Steve Novak. His percentages are drooping a little this year (his three-point accuracy is down about three percent), but this guy is a New York legend and if he does not win the Foot Locker Three-Point Contest I will be severely disappointed.

The Charles Barkley Award for the Player Most Likely to Freak Out in the Middle of the Game and Punch Someone: Russell Westbrook. The undeniably talented point guard displayed his short temper after a Grizzlies game a few weeks ago, giving a hilariously awkward postgame interview in which he had to hold back tears and said stuff like “If that’s what you say, bruh” to Craig Sager. I bet the guy mentally explodes after getting blocked by LeBron or bumps heads with Carmelo Anthony.

The Michael Jordan Award for the Player Most Likely to Frustrate My Beloved Knicks: Chris Paul. I got locked out of the Clippers-Knicks game this past Sunday but I didn’t even have to watch the game to know that this speedy point guard has the potential to absolutely annihilate Carmelo Anthony and Tyson Chandler, despite those two playing the best basketball of their career. This time, though, I’ll be forced to watch it. Yikes.

–Alex Robertson, Editor-in-Chief

Posted by on February 12, 2013. Filed under Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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