Top 10: Holiday Movies

It’s holiday season, and that means it’s time to watch holiday movies until your heart is warmer than the hot chocolate you’re drinking. In order to get in the holiday spirit, here’s a countdown of my top ten movies to watch during the holiday season:

 

  1. Gremlins

    Gremlins doesn’t really seem like a Christmas movie at first glance, but after watching it you can’t help but admit that nothing conveys the true spirit of Christmas better than a bunch of furbies gone mad pillaging the fictional town of Kingston Falls (it’s almost like watching the doors of Walmart open at midnight on Black Friday). Just remember to not leave those cookies out for Santa out past midnight…

 

  1. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (NOT THE JIM CARREY VERSION!)462ddb3d24fc26c3f0720d82d70bf00284a47bcd

    Who let Oscar the Grouch escape Sesame Street? If you would like to see Sentinel staffer Colette Juran steal Christmas, then The Grinch won’t disappoint. Even though the Grinch isn’t all that likable, we can’t help but root for him because the Whos of Whoville are so gosh darn annoying. I will pay you to dropkick Cindy Lou Who out of Whoville and into the nearest juvenile detention facility. The Grinch would certainly be much higher on this list if Max were the protagonist and not the absolute piece of garbage that is the Grinch. Sure, his it’s great that his heart gets bigger, but his entire redemption arc consists only of cutting a piece of ham. A little sloppy if you ask me.

   

  1. Elf 

Do you want to see a middle aged man act like a child for an hour and a half? Do you want to see that same man get beat up by Tyrion from Game of Thrones? I personally think that Elf should not even rank on this list because I believe that Will Ferrell is one of the horsemen of the apocalypse, but the Sentinel staff insists that it be included. I also have to admit that, despite my distaste for this movie, it has earned its place in the Christmas Hall of Fame.

   

  1. Home Alone

    If we’re being honest, I probably would have made absolute certain to leave Macaulay Culkin behind before leaving for a Christmas vacation. Who wants that whiny kid around anyways? Certainly not the burglars who try to rob the McCallisters! The Grinch actually does a better job stealing Christmas than these imbeciles. Whoville really needed to trade Cindy Lou for Kevin, because he kicks some serious butt and takes no prisoners. I’m surprised the body count isn’t up there with Django Unchained and Titanic after all the shenanigans Kevin pulls!

 

  1.  

    A Christmas Story

How wacky can Christmas get? When I saw this movie, the sheer amount of Christmas spirit nearly shot my eye out! This is definitely the funniest movie to make the list, but don’t expect anything too sophisticated or politically correct. This was 1983, after all.

 

  1. Miracle on 34th Street 

    Kris Kringle brings his A-game to 34th Street, which brings this movie to the Top 5 of this Holiday movie list. Before I saw this movie, I was starting to think that maybe Santa wasn’t real. Now that I’ve seen it, I believe… I believe… I know it’s silly, but I believe.

 

  1. It’s a Wonderful Life

    Can you say that you really have a wonderful life if you haven’t seen It’s a Wonderful Life? The answer is no. If you have not yet seen this movie, you need to find Clarence and get yourself some guidance, because you’re missing out. It does lose points for being so long, so, when planning to watch this movie, make sure to take an extra day off for Christmas break because it’s going to take a while.

 

  1. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer 

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was the first horror movie I ever watched. I can honestly say that the Abominable Snow Monster traumatized me. However, this movie definitely does not belong on the Island of Misfit Toys. Rudolph embodies the spirit of Christmas in this coming of age tale with an Oscar-worthy performance by Sam the Snowman. Just make sure to be more accepting of your child’s differences than Donner is of Rudolph’s nose.

 

  1. Frosty the Snowman

    If anyone so much as speaks one ill word in reference to Frosty the Snowman, so help me I will rip off their top hat and watch them melt. Frosty the Snowman. There is nothing more gripping than watching Professor Hinkie unravel the mysteries of Frosty the Snowman; Hinkie is Nick and Frosty is Amy in this gripping Gone Girl Christmas special.

 

  1. Die Hard

Die Hard is truly the ultimate Christmas spectaculathon. This Christmas, forget lighting a silly little fire under your stockings in the fireplace. Instead, let yourself be kept warm by explosions and the sound of gunfire! It’s fun if you imagine Bruce Willis as Santa and Alan Rickman as Krampus, battling it out to save Christmas. Yippee ki yay, Mrs. Claus!

 

–Jack Hobbs, Staff Writer

Posted by on December 8, 2015. Filed under Arts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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