A Day in the Life of Ron Holland

We all see Ron Holland, in his last quarter of a long run at St. Luke’s (he’s a lifer!), bellowing down the hallways, chatting away in the radio station, and generally spreading his second-semester senior cheer. Many have wondered: What is Ron’s life truly like each day, beyond what we see from our occasional hallway run-ins? The Sentinel decided to find out from the schoolboy himself:

Sentinel: When do you wake up on the average school day?

Ron: Around 7:30 in the morning.

S: Do you consider yourself a morning person?

R: I think I am an “all the time” person… except dinner time, second dinner time, supper time (different from first and second dinner) and then dessert time – those are the times when I don’t mess around.

S: What is one thing that gets you excited for the day?

R: Thinking about my daily class (yes, “class” is singular), Playing excessively loud music for all to hear. Talking to my main man Sean about absurd things I have never actually done. For instance, seeing him “in the club last night.”

S: Could you run us through your day, hour by hour, starting with 7:00 AM.

R: Sure. At 7:00 AM, I can usually be found sleep talking. And sleepwalking.

8:00 AM: I’m on Route 123, runnin’ about 10 minutes late.

Ron Holland on his way to school

Ron Holland on his way to school

9:00 AM: I have my free period.

10:00 AM: I’m eating during my other free period.

11:00 AM: I’m working on my art–both appreciation and creation.

12:00 PM: Still working on my art.

S: Hold up, Ron? What about lunch? What is your favorite meal?

R: Anything that is tan in color. Some examples include pasta, butter, bread, bagels, and saltines.

1:00 PM: I’m often found bothering Jamie Schlim, Lily Breck, Haley Overlander, and Meredith Rogers.

2:00 PM: I have my 2nd lunch, again consisting of tan foods – see favorite lunch meals. At this point in the interview, I’d like to give a shout out to Arlene from the SLS kitchen.

3:00 PM: At this beautiful hour, I’m usually panning for gold under the bridge to the junior lot and art house.

S: What is your typical afternoon like once school is over?

R: I make money.

S: Do you have any pets?

R: Yes, two black labs: Otis (who barks excessively) Ollie (who eats excrement), and a cricket that I have adopted because it hasn’t been able to find a way out of my room for the past month. Its name is Odin–after the Norse god, of course. I also have two cats, who I don’t like very much. One is excessively lazy and fat and the other drools on me. Their names are Mister Kitty and Didy.

S: Do you have any special abilities or superpowers?

R: Yes, I have the ability to do whatever I want and get away with it. Ask the English department. In addition, I write my own notes to exempt myself from dress code. They work!

S: When you do you go to bed?

R: Whenever I am done watching my neighbors by peeking through their windows. Sorry Sargent clan, I should have told you earlier, but it never came up organically in conversation….

No wonder Ron is so cheerful all the time. He eats, makes money, cares for orphaned insects, and spies on the Sargent family. Who could ask for more?!

–Liza Epprecht, Staff Writer

Posted by on April 24, 2013. Filed under Just 4 Fun. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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